by I’m about to reveal a little secret to you: Tatiana and I “mint” (review our finances) as a couple every weekend while enjoying homemade rolls and freshly brewed coffee. That is not a typo; every weekend, we bake fresh rolls while we go over our budget.
When your saving and spending habits are in sync, one of the most empowering conversations you can have with your spouse is about how your life energy is being spent. It’s also a good way to check in on how you’re living in the present without sacrificing your future.
Being good with money
Without a doubt, financial issues are a leading cause of divorce in the United States. Why not prevent this from becoming a problem in your relationship? Money became a comfortable topic to discuss at any time before we tied the knot. We put everything on the table while dating.
As I realized that material possessions did not bring me happiness, as Tatiana did, I gravitated toward a simpler lifestyle and began to pay off all debt. I was debt-free by the time we married.
My wife has always been good with money, and she’s been an example of how much happiness a simple life can bring since the beginning. She had humble beginnings and always lived within her means. She has also never paid any interest, not even a penny!
We completely integrated our finances online by the time we were married because we were on the same page even while dating. We don’t believe in “your money” or “my money” because our goals are so similar. Every transaction represents the expenditure of our life energy and, as such, must reflect our values.
Going over our finances is a guilt-free ritual for us
On a typical Saturday morning, we begin our minting ritual as she inserts the knife into the hot rolls and butters them.
Instead of hiding guilt-ridden purchases from each other, we go through Mint’s weekly Transactions, Budgets, Goals, and Trends tabs. Budgets is her favorite section, while Trends is mine. Our goal is to constantly push ourselves to cut costs. We don’t always get it right. In such rare cases, reviewing the purchases allows us to reflect on them and consider how we can improve for the next time.
There are times when I become her target for minor indulgences, such as buying a $1.29 song or, God forbid, an entire album. Even if it’s a one-dollar purchase, I go through a mental checklist before clicking BUY: “Can I hear this song in other ways without purchasing? Will I get tired of it after a year if I buy it?” Finally, does the purchase add to my long-term happiness? When all else fails, I tell her that these small purchases are an investment in our happiness.
When I buy a Latin song, we listen to it and sing along in the car. We even get to break a sweat or two while dancing to the beat at home or during family gatherings! This argument almost always wins the case.
When she brings up my “happiness” purchases, I bring up Pushok, the conniving asaroso cat I inherited as part of the marriage package, and his lavish penthouse lifestyle, which demands a $35 monthly budget. Only then do we proceed to more important topics, such as financial independence, or FI, as we like to call it.
Final thoughts
If you and your partner are not on the same financial page, it would be extremely beneficial to your relationship if you could agree on what goals and values your financial picture should represent. It is not always simple. It can be difficult to change a person’s mindset when they are resistant to change, but it is worthwhile to try.
Make it a regular and enjoyable activity! You can try future-forward exercises with your significant other, in which you define what happiness means to you and what your ideal future looks like. Then, align your spending and saving habits to make that future a reality. Make a timeline for it; the more specific the plan, the more likely it will succeed.
If living a happy, simple, and stress-free life is in your DNA, then budgeting for that lifestyle with your significant other should be a top priority.
Great post and I agree, the key to a financially happy marriage is to be really open about money, making sure goals are aligned. In our household, we are not as disciplined about reviewing our budget and spending every weekend as you, but we generally know where we are at any point in time against our goal. At the beginning of the year, we did a recap on our investments and spending of previous year and calculated our estimate of 2015. That lets us know how much we have to put aside no matter what to achieve long term goals. Automating savings has worked really well for us. If it’s not available, we are less likely to spend it.
Mrs. Goodlife
It’s definitely important to know where you stand, even if you don’t review it weekly . It became a tradition to us since we were dating. Congrats on your saving strategy!
Great topic. I wish my dog’s budget was $35 a month. I think she eats more than that in a week.
That budget was increased from $20 last year! We’ve been eating organic food for years and Tanya realized that the asaroso was never upgraded from cheap dry food. At least a dog is more fun. Would you like to adopt a friendly kitty as well? 🙂
I think the cat’s new name should be asaroso XD
Thank you for being our first commenter! That’s a great suggestion. To me, it feel as if it’s his name since that the first word I scream when I see him. Tanya, can we officially changed the name of the individual with the penthouse style? Our readers are demanding it.
Of course we can change Pushok’s name to Asaroso, as long as yours changes to Asaroso #2. You see, I love you both equally, so parity in treatment is a must.:)